to live by in all our relationships
Based on these sources: the Alternatives to Violence Project, Creating Cultures of Peace, and The Work That Reconnects
• Look for and affirm the good in self and others.
• No putdowns or put-ups (on pedestals) of self or others.
• Stop. Listen. Don’t interrupt.
• Speak simply and honestly without fear of mistakes.
• Volunteer myself only.
• Speak from my own experience, not other’s without permission.
• Consent—ask early and ask often—especially around touch.
• Make space, take space—move up move up. If you are socialized to take up space, please check yourself before speaking, if you are socialized to not take up space, please push yourself to move up move up move up.
• (Self) Regulate—opt-out if too intense.
• Avoid advice-giving.
• Avoid unnecessary apologizing.
• Impact and Intent—both are important and the impact of something I say or do is more important than my intent.