Making Peace with Peace

by Ted Bongiovanni
Brooklyn Meeting

As Friends, “we utterly deny all outward wars and strife and fighting with outward weapons for any end or under any pretense whatever; this is our testimony to the whole world.”—George Fox and others c. 1660.

I've served as a US Peace Corps volunteer, marched in countless protests against wars at home and abroad. That said, our peace testimony is one of the most difficult for me to embrace. How do we deal with those who would use violent ends to achieve an outcome? Is our testimony a moral absolute? 

I am a child of the Cold War—memorialized in pop culture in films like The Day After which imagined our world in the wake of nuclear armageddon. Then, I preferred films like Top Gun which put brave men (always men in the 80s) in the cockpit. In films like Top Gun, the violence was somewhat abstracted. Defend against an enemy to preserve freedom. Queue effusive, heart-stirring electric guitar riffs. These films are part of the mythology of war, bravery, and masculinity. Top Gun’s post pandemic sequel carries the same message: we need the strong, with arms, to stand up to the bad, who would do us harm.

My favorite pop culture summary was immortalized forever by Jack Nicholson playing Nathan Jessup in A Few Good Men, where he explained to a naive Daniel Kaffee: “we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns...” 

Is it that simple? Take the case of the unjust, illegal, and violent Russian invasion of Ukraine. How should we respond as Friends? 

These brutal actions put our peace testimony to the test.

Perhaps the most basic tenet of Quakerism is the belief that there is a spark of the divine in everyone—and that is our responsibility to let that light shine in ourselves and seek it in others. If we commit violence against another we commit it against ourselves. 

John Donne's words have always helped me make the connection of our shared humanity: 

No man is an island,

Entire of itself;

Every man is a piece of the continent, 

A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,

Europe is the less,

As well as if a promontory were:

As well as if a manor of thy friend's

Or of thine own were.

Any man's death diminishes me,

Because I am involved in mankind.

And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;

It tolls for thee.

Violence is expedient—draw the sword, get your gun, roll the tanks, launch the missiles. Do as I say or harm will come to you. Violence is predicated on fear and control. Do as I say because I am stronger than you. 

How free are we if this is the belief system to which we subscribe? 

Fox denounced fighting with outward weapons. Instead we need to use our hearts and minds. Renounce our swords and our obsession with fighting. Because when we all take up arms we all lose. Violence begets more violence. Our peace testimony offers a way out of fear and oppression. Not only from weighty global examples but in our every day lives. When we feel anger rising how can we acknowledge that feeling and then seek a non-violent or peaceful path? 

How might we better understand our starting principles and the privilege that comes with them? Are those principles absolutes? How might we understand and connect with those who see things differently than us? Together, we must work to find the paths that recognize the inherent dignity of every person. That, Friends, is our work.