A Message from the New Children, Youth, and Young Adult Community Director

by Daniela Salazar Monárrez
Flushing Meeting

Dear Friends,

There's a very good book series called the Graceling Realm by Kristin Cashore. It's a high medieval-like fantasy adventure story, where the main magical premise is that some people are born with a Grace. A Grace is a skill, often very specific and unique (fearlessness & precise risk analysis; olfactory sense to know and cook the exact food someone needs; crafting dreams for others; speed reading & perfect recall; an instinct for survival; etc.). These people are called Gracelings and have different coloured eyes. It was this magical premise that came to mind when I was first beginning to understand the concepts of ministry, vocation, and spiritual gifts.

In an early Young Adult Spiritual Nurture Series, Marissa Badgley described a spiritual gift as linked with “the idea that each individual person has unique strengths and gifts with which they can make a positive contribution to the good of the Earth community.” She herself spoke about how hard it was to live in line with that reality, and worried at how the very concept of vocation was out of reach for so many of us. As I dive into the work of homemaking for the young people of this yearly meeting, I again think on the idea of a Grace.

I’ve been a teacher my whole life. Students of all ages and nationalities take to me because I take them seriously. I respect children, infants and youth and teens and new adults and young adults and ye olde adults. Last semester, I taught a freshman writing class and folded within it a course on notoriously dense, post-colonial theory. Even when they dropped my class they still felt their time spent on my class had been worth it, they wrote to me; they had learned a whole lot, they said. My class was a healing space, full of compassion, centered around welcoming students into a world of knowledge armed with the tools to be critical thinkers in the world. It centered the meaningfully honest storytelling of an explicitly anti-oppressive genre, teaching them how to be speakers of Truth on behalf of their people as a way to participate in the world. It helped them to identify their people: some knew instantly, some took all semester to decide. It was intellectually demanding and practically challenging and endlessly forgiving and my students told me that they wouldn't have described it as easy at all; but that it was calming somehow and full of grace.

I am of the belief that we should look to the youth as a rudder for the direction of their community’s actions in the world. I am known for listening to children, then to their parents, and in turn, revealing their parents' love to them by way of observation and explanation. I might explain to parents the things their children are trying to communicate. An itchy sock, complex theology. Truth and clarity exist in exuberant abundance in children who make friends with absolutely anyone. And young adults are steadfast friends who will test and temper your convictions; they hold us all to a higher standard. This role of translator between generations and cultures and languages happens to me with strangers, with students, and with family. I am graced with the spiritual gift of translation.

Emily Provance, in a talk to Quakers in Britain, asked, “What are the implications of rejecting leadership as a spiritual gift?” I had never considered that this question could have a response. She answered that question like this: “Your spiritual gifts aren’t for you—they’re for the people around you…used in faithful service to a community.” In the story of Graceling, all commoners with a Grace are automatically drafted into faithful service to the crown. The darker implications of compulsory service are explored in the story. But the foundational belief is based in truth known from reality that those Graced have both a need-like desire and a duty to use their Grace well.

Our 2021 State of Society reports, “One meeting with a strong, multi-generational prison outreach noted that ‘young adults observe the sense of community and equality in our interactions and feel in unity with the values we practice.’ What are the unheard messages of young adult Friends not associated with monthly meetings?” I have heard these messages, again and again. In graveyards and while swimming and at 3 a.m. and over online voice channels from 12 time zones away; and I know only some of what's been lost and why.

Before I ever connected with the NYYM, I established an online server to discuss Quakerism. I couldn’t be the only one who wanted a space to explore Quakerism from and with others. Even today I’m asked online, mostly and not exclusively by young strangers digging through Quaker-related tags on three-year-old posts, if they can join our religion, despite only having just heard of us, our work, and our reputation. They say they feel somehow strongly convinced by Quakers, but have nothing to do about it. Others find the link…who knows where. At least once a week a new seeker joins a Quaker server. A number that is fast increasing; baby Quakers are ever-seeking.

In only three years of involvement with NYYM, through worship at Flushing Meeting, participation in Marissa's YAF events, a Meeting for Discernment (the last one held in person), Summer Sessions, and as a paid facilitator for Morningside Meeting—I have seen so much underutilized potential and so many people who are not truly invited to make their spiritual home with us. Thankfully, I am graced with the spiritual gift of translation and a surplus-funded salary.

As Quakers we believe in something like a Grace, we call it an inner Light. And while it is equally fantastical in premise to some; we know it as real and visceral in our daily lives. We believe in that of god in everyone. We are all equally graced with this Light, every single person. We all have as perfect a place amongst us as any Graceling in their realm. And it is as equally your duty to serve it up to the community, as it is our duty to truly Hold you in the Light as we find you your proper place in our Society of Friends.