The Presence of Listening

by Calliope George
NYYM Sojourner

If you’d believe it, the closest I felt to silence in 2023 was standing underneath Washington Square Arch and facing the wrath of 5th Avenue. It was there, for a little over an hour, that 20 some Quakers stood collectively for Peace. One of my favorite things about Quakerism is the variety of SPICES. Each testimony as unique and flavorful as the individuals and communities seeking them. The taste of Peace on this Autumn day was bitter. War seemed to have been the answer on the standardized tests of time for a while, and this moment felt no different. Another corner, the same simple loud silence.

I tried following shadows, staring at a sliver of sky, closing my eyes…anything to settle tart frustrations. I thought if somehow I could be at peace, then the world would be called to do the same. A rolling LED truck billboard started honking in traffic. An advertisement for Netflix’s ‘Pain Hustlers’. Salty. The glow of pink and blue inched and strobed along, distracting the tungsten tone of sunset. I felt dizzy. Found a bench. It’s a precious thing, to be part of something and also see it from afar. The group looked smaller from my bench spot. I thought about the opioid epidemic, global pandemics, anti-academic rhetoric…Here we were, calling on New Yorkers to align with peace and claiming it was simple. As if anything in 2023 was simple.

I guess I should spoil the ending now. I didn’t “clear my head.” Rejoined the group feeling overwhelmed with our world. Simultaneously grateful for growing in this little group called Quakers and wondering if there was actually method to our madness. Sometimes it seems like success is measured by talking points. So how do we balance the weight of routine silence with incredible worldly noise? That scale would probably break. Over pigeon coos, bike bells, and unhappy horns I recognized the weight was not all mine to carry. There is a rich comfort in finding community, however small, that stands in light. Old leather breeches and shaggy locks do a lot of walking in New York City. Standing in the light and breathing through uncertainty together is one way to rest our soles and feel heard in the noise.

As we simmer into 2024, it’s clear finding complete stillness will not be simple. Silence, however, might be within reach. For perhaps silence is less the absence of noise, rather, the presence of listening.