Music

by Renee Fogarty
Amawalk Meeting

Music: a holy longing, easing us through life’s passages.

Leaving paid work a few years ago was a devastating loss to my sense of purpose — I tumbled into an abyss of meaning that took me quite by surprise. Within days, I was leading sing-alongs at a local day care — which kept me emotionally afloat for a few months while I navigated the new terrain of free time and choice. I added guitar lessons, open mic nights, a music Meetup group, and a chorus to my schedule. I pursued my musical ambitions with habitual goal orientation. With enough musical diversions, I hoped the gnawing feeling of life’s futility would ease. 

Music has been a bridge over the choppy waters of approaching elderhood. After several years of lumbering along I’m learning a new way of being. Music has helped quiet my mind, slow down, move from frenetic doing to reclaim lost creativity. I see glimpses of a future where I’ll be connected to something deeper, a soulful essence that has inherent value and doesn’t depend on productivity or achievement for contentment.