Reflections on 2024 FGC Fall Retreat for Friends of Color

by Gessie Perez
Westbury Meeting

The weekend of November 1-3, I attended the Friends General Conference Fall Retreat for People of Color. This retreat changes location each year, and it happened to be held at Powell House in 2024. Multiple factors aligned in my favor allowing me to attend, and I’m so grateful to have had that opportunity. 

I’m mixed race; my mom is white, and my paternal grandparents were Filipino immigrants. But I without a doubt identify as a person of color — I have brown skin, a surname of Spanish origin (as many Filipinos do), and I certainly don’t outwardly present as white.

I never thought my race played much of a role in my identity, but attending this retreat opened my eyes to just how much it does indeed shape who I am, and I want to embrace and honor that, rather than deny or ignore it. Candidly sharing stories with other POC made me realize my inherent racial identity has impacted my life in many ways: everything from my familial culture and upbringing, to having instinctive safety concerns when out by myself (especially as a woman of color), to even seemingly subtle things that are actually important.

Case in point: I recently filled out medical forms for a new doctor, and I took notice of how I always opt out of answering demographic questions about my race. There’s an intentional reason for that; thankfully I’ve never personally experienced discrimination or mistreatment in a healthcare setting, but I’m well aware of how common it is for POC to be dismissed by medical professionals, have care be denied, or even suffer abuse or negligence.

Another example: I’ve only ever dated white men, yet I always had a deep-seated insecurity that prospective dates aren’t genuinely attracted to me. I’d also worry about whether their families would even accept and welcome me.

These are just some of the different ways my racial identity affects my perspective, worldview, decisions, and more.

It was very spiritually nurturing to share an intimate weekend with fellow Friends of color. It was refreshing to hear their stories and to be able to speak freely of my own experiences. I knew that they would innately understand me regarding certain issues that never even cross the minds of non-POC folks.

It was particularly therapeutic to be able to openly voice concerns and fears about the political climate of our country, right before what was arguably the most consequential presidential election to date. The fear of being stripped of our fundamental rights under the new administration is a frightening reality for many of us in marginalized groups. I felt solidarity and security at the retreat, only to be devastated by the election results just a few days later. But I’m grateful to now have a community of peers who deeply “get it,” knowing that we can brave whatever is to come, together.

I’m still somewhat new to actively being a part of the Religious Society of Friends, having grown up Catholic. I found Friends and attended my first meeting about seven years ago, but I’ve only confidently welcomed identifying myself as Quaker and started fully immersing myself in Quaker spaces within the past year. I’m still learning what it means to integrate Quaker practice into my daily life, and while I’m still in the process of seeking, I know that I absolutely relish Quaker community settings. I feel closest to the Divine when among Friends, so I treasured being part of that special retreat weekend. It warmed my heart and fed my soul.